To dear Dodo 9: Happy 17th Birthday!!!

Hey little precious,

You are officially 17 yesterday! Happy Birthday, Domin!!!

Hope you enjoyed all the snacks that jie-jie got you last week and the Bakerzin strawberry shortcake that your mummy bought for you yesterday. This Minmin is so blur… confused between strawberry shortcake and strawberry cheesecake leh!

5 September… a day that jie-jie will always hold close to her heart. A day that makes me feel like crying and yet, I know I should be very grateful for this particular day. This was the day that Dodo was born many years back and hence we were able to spend an unforgettable, wonderful 16 years together. Without 5 September, none of the happy memories we accumulated throughout the past 16 years would have been possible!

I think your jie-jie is indeed very efficient. In my last letter to you some weeks back, I mentioned that I was thinking of learning roller-blading, photography and going for the Business Chinese class. I have started learning roller-blading at Skateline, cute one! Though I must confess I failed my Level 1 Lesson 1 on Friday. Sigh… I don’t know how long I’ll take to clear Level 1 (considering that I’m such a slow learner). Later this month, my photography class is also starting. And this coming Saturday, I am going to sit for my Business Chinese Test. Wish me good luck for the test, precious! I am turning into one busy bee!

Last but not least, please know that no matter how busy I am, you are always on my mind. Nothing will ever change that.

Loving you always,
Your used-to-be-lazy-but-now-busy jie-jie

To dear Dodo 8: Your Birthday is coming

Dear Mei-mei,

It has been more than a month since my last letter to you. How have you been?

I hope Mei-mei has made a lot of friends at Rainbow Bridge by now. Mei-mei must learn to be less stubborn and cannot throw tantrums ok? Must do your best to get along with other doggie friends and cannot always insist on having your own way ok?

The house is just so different without you around – so much less fun and laughter and happiness. I really miss our happy happy days together!

Mei-mei’s birthday is less than 3 weeks away. I remember clearly that on 5 September last year (which was a Friday), I was rebonding my hair at International Building as we had already celebrated your birthday the Saturday before at Vivocity. I think I got you a very pretty Kimono dress that day! I can remember exactly how cute you looked in that black Kimono with pink/red flowers and the yellow obi with a big ribbon!

Your birthday falls on a Saturday this year. Don’t worry, little precious, I won’t forget to buy some nice snacks for you on your special day! Hmm… you must share them with your friends ok? Don’t hoard all the food! Good things are for sharing with friends you know :)

Jie-jie is keeping herself very busy at the moment. So many things I want to learn on top of what I am already learning now – photography, Chinese, maybe rollerblading and also contemplating going for the advanced diving course!

Take care, Precious. If the weather is cold, don’t kick off your blanket!

Missing you always always,
Jie-jie

Of Vets & Age

Since she was a puppy, Dr James Tan has been Domin’s vet. When we bought her way back in end 1992, the seller gave us her vaccination card which stated James Tan as her vet and so we proceeded there for her to complete her course of required vaccinations.

Throughout the years, we stayed with him. He performed the sterilization surgery for her, he removed the meat lump on her paws (more than once) and her forehead, he cleaned her teeth, he administered her yearly vaccination. When she coughed, when she had diarrhoea, when her ears were infected, when she vomited, when she limped, when there was blood in her stools, when her anal glands was full and causing her discomfort (we knew because she would be sitting on the floor and dragging herself), when she was not eating, when she was seriously out of sorts in one way or another, we were always at his clinic at Stevens Road.

Domin never liked going there. Most times, she would shiver when she was waiting for her turn and would cling tightly on to us. Sometimes she would panic and inflict red painful scratches on my legs – I can almost see and feel them again when I close my eyes. When on the examination table and under the watchful eyes of James Tan, she was a frightened little child who just wanted to go home.

I have to admit that sometimes the things that James Tan said irked us. When we asked why Domin had black spots/patches appearing on her body (we even called Domin a Dalmatian then – she must have been so hurt), he said that old people had that too. When we asked why her cough was not getting any better, his reply was along the same line – that our old grandparents experienced the same persistent coughing and bugging discomfort in the throat too. He just was not that sort of reassuring vet who tells you the kind of things that most parents want to hear when they bring their kids to the doctor. There were numerous occasions when I really think his comments were irritating and uncalled for. We would then grumble and complain among ourselves about him.

I knew there were rumours about him not being the best or ethical vet. Some say he does not practice the best surgical procedures and some say he does not treat pets’ bodies with respect. Till today, I do not understand why there were all these negative talk about him and I am also not sure how true they are.

For Domin, all her operations at James Tan clinic went very well. There was never any complications or infections of any sort. Except for maybe the last one year of her life, most of the medicine prescribed by James Tan worked ok. I really don’t have much complaints about him as a vet (apart from his occasional irritating replies/comments).

I remember one particular day clearly. It was 26 December 2008, the day after we had celebrated Christmas at Vivocity (that was also our last outing to Vivocity together as a family). We decided to change a vet for Domin and brought her to Mount Pleasant Veterinary at Sunset Way. She had been vomiting for some time and previous visits to James Tan did not help – the medication from James Tan was just not stopping her vomiting and coughing. She was losing her appetite and getting weaker by the day and we wanted to get a second opinion.

That is still a day I look back with so much pain. From that day till the day she passed on, it was a mere 2 weeks. And yet, Domin was subjected to so much pain and discomfort in that 2 weeks. She underwent numerous blood tests and was diagnosed with kidney failure, she was subjected to injections and different medications, she was fed some bland and so-called ‘healthy food’, she had to stay overnight at the hospital in a small cage (away from her beloved bed), she was put on the drip, and she was most unhappy.

For some unknown reason, I always assumed Domin would live till 18 years old. I cannot explain why but that was what I hoped and expected of her. On 26 December 2008 when I brought her to vet at Sunset Way, she was 16 years and 3 months old. That is already quite a feat for a dog (even for a small one) but yet to me, that was still more than a year away from my targeted 18 years for her. I did not realize my best little friend was really reaching the end of her life and the best thing I could have done was to spend more time with her and give her the best and most comfortable goodbye possible.

Looking back now, what we deemed as irritating comments from James Tan made some sense. Senior dogs and humans do have more ailments and may not necessarily be cured always. This was what we could not understand and accept then. I recall that on more than one occasions in recent years, James Tan had said that Domin is already at a ripe old age and it is already very good. I think he was trying to prepare us for the inevitable but we refused to listen.

I stubbornly still wanted to celebrate Domin’s 18th birthday. When James Tan’s medication did not work, we were disappointed and unhappy and blamed it on his medical skills, his stupid medicine and his co-called nonchalant attitude. I chose to believe that there was still a vet out there somewhere somehow who could cure the weak-and-frail Domin and help her to recover her health – without realizing that degeneration of the body is inevitable as the years roll by unconsciously. I was still waiting for the once greedy-and-busybody Domin to come back, not knowing that those are times gone by.

Nothing can ever hope to triumph old age and death – not even the most skilled or well-trained doctors, the best or most expensive medication or treatment, the latest medical advances or breakthroughs. This was something we did not realize then but I think James Tan did. Perhaps that was why he seldom if ever recommends Domin to undergo blood tests or invasive medical treatments of any sorts. But I think perhaps the vets at Sunset Way Mount Pleasant did not… maybe such a realization will only come with age and experience.

Domin’s jie-jie

To dear Dodo 7: Our Suzhou trip 5-8Jun09

Dear Mei-mei,

It has been more than 6 months. And yet sadness is really one persistent creature. I guess I will never stop missing you.

I hope you had enjoyed our Suzhou trip together. When we checked in and I was given Room number 4177, my first instinct was to reject the room because it had so many 4s and 7s and did not quite give a lucky feeling (the superstitious me talking here). Yet when I stopped for a few seconds to think about it, I know that somehow you had chosen the room. The numbers together added up to 19 – your number, precious one.

The room was not exactly big but I think it was ok for both of us. Hope you liked the hotel, though I must say Sheraton is not exactly the best 5-star hotel I have been to. Breakfast was a little disappointing but I do like the hotel’s architecture (in case you don’t know, this means design and style) very much.

Hmmm… I suspect Mei-mei might have been a little cheeky. First night – I put you on the couch and I slept well. Second night – I placed you on the bed and did not really get a good sleep. I think Mei-mei may have been up to her tricks and disturbing me. Third night – I decided to place you back on the couch and I got pretty good sleep again! Hope Mei-mei is not angry with me for not placing you on the bed because I so need my sleep! You know how lazy your Jie-jie is…

With Mei-mei now accompanying me on my solo trips, I guess solo trips will never be truly solo.

Loving you,
Jie-jie

Dodo’s eyes

Dodo’s right eye has been blind for very long. Maybe since she was around 6 or 7 years old – I can’t remember exactly when.

In her seniorhood days, we note that her left side was also starting to get cloudy. We brought her to the vet and were given an eye drop that was supposed to delay the cataract. The vet advised that there was no way the cataract could be cured by external medication. The one way to get rid of it was for her to undergo surgery and even then, it was no guarantee that the cataract would never return. We decided against the surgery as we did not want to subject her to the risks of surgery at such a high age.

We were worried that she would go completely blind and hence affect her quality of life. I was concerned about her knocking into chairs and other furnishings around the house should she become totally blind one day and hurting herself.

I never knew for sure how much of her vision was left in the last years of her life. And yet, she was not bothered by it all. Loss of her eyesight, whether substantially or totally, never stopped her from living the life she wanted and doing the things she was used to do and wanted to do.

Yes, she could run in the wrong direction sometimes when we called her name outside the house (actually I am not sure if this is due to her loss of hearing or loss of sight or both). Yes, she could sometimes knock into things when in unfamiliar places. And yet, she never really stopped – she still ran, her ears still flapped, her tail still wagged. She still barked, still hopped around when happy, still enjoyed her birthdays – she still was the active, greedy little dog I had known throughout the years.

Maybe we all have a lesson to learn from this little white dog. No matter what old age or fate may bring, perhaps it doesn’t really matter that much. We just cannot let it stop us from living the life we want to live.

Remembering the brave one,
Jie-jie

Musings

They say the mind is a powerful tool but I beg to differ because it did fail on me once.

I picked up the last picture I took with Dodo and it struck me hard as to how emotions can be displayed so differently in the same picture. I was smiling happily while Dodo was on a drip, looking forlorn. I wondered why in the world was I able to smile at that time and it dawned on me that it was the foolish kid in me thinking that she was going to recover from the ordeal just like she did in the past. I believed; I really believed she was going to come home with me.

Dodo, I just want you to know that I was not exactly smiling or laughing then. I was just choosing to let the kid in me takeover. I was just choosing to believe that believing actually works. Dodo, Minmin is growing up...finally.

Min

After a long hiatus....

Dodo,

How are you? Minmin’s job requires me to do a lot of writing and more often than not, I do not really feel like writing when I am out of office. So forgive me for the long hiatus.

Life has changed quite a bit in these last few months. We have not gone to Vivocity as a family for the longest time. We have not gone to the MacDonalds opposite for the longest time as well. Life did not stop after you left but it was never the same again.

Minmin can still remember that you used to wait eagerly for me every Sunday outside my yoga class and we would have brunch together afterwards. Anyway, Minmin is not taking yoga classes anymore. I have gone on to kickboxing, badminton and other exercises. Well, I guess after you left, everyone felt that there is no time to waste in life and that procrastination will get us nowhere.

I went for my lasik, started to exercise more frequently and even went for my first dragonboat practice. I came back with bruises but it was loads of fun. I am even thinking of going diving! But I know you do not like water sports very much huh. =) Jiejie also took up weiqi lessons, calligraphy classes and even a course on Chinese medicine. I somehow think all these changes are related to you.

Do not worry. These changes are for the better. I told you we are going to be stronger and I am not going back on my word. You have lived your life to the fullest; from challenging fellow dogs 5 times your size to leaping off sofas with a broken leg and not forgetting running on the roughest terrain with a lump on your foot. You overcame them all and we will too.

Nobody is indispensible in the world but you came really close to it. I know you are brave but do take care still.

Love always,
Minmin

To dear Dodo 6: Updates

Dear Mei-mei,

I realized your shrine is very dusty. I am feeling lazy today but I promise to clean it soon. But the main reason I don’t think I will be cleaning it (at least at the moment) is that I am worried I will cry again when I face your shrine for too long.

Nana and Carol have given your pram to one of their friends. I hear that the receiving little dog is very glad to have the pram and he/she is very contented when inside the pram, just like you used to be. The same little dog has also inherited your shampoo, tidbits, canned food, glucosamine tablets etc. I think Mei-mei won’t mind right? I hope he/she will also enjoy all the tidbits as much as you do!

Jie-jie will be going to Suzhou this coming Friday to watch table-tennis. This is a trip I wanted to do last year but was unable to go as my leave was not approved then. I think I might have told you about this intended-but-unsuccessful trip last August/September. Looking back now, had I taken it last year, Mei-mei would not have been able to come along. But this year, Mei-mei can come along if she wants.

All of us are planning a family trip to Shanghai sometime November this year. We will bring you along too! It’ll be much colder than Singapore but I think Mei-mei will be fine because she has curly white fur!

Minmin has not contributed anything to the blog for months. And your room-mate also! She has been saying she will do it since January I think. I have been chasing her to do it but she’s so lazy. Hmm don’t worry, I will chase her again and make sure she completes her entries before Shanghai!

Ohs, I have new nicknames for them you know? Nana is called “Lazy Chew”, Mama is called “Vainpop Chew”, your Mummy is called “Pushy Tan”, Connie is called "Weirdo Chew". Don’t really have a good one for Minmin yet but I think “Grumpy Chen” is quite appropriate.

That’s about the updates in the family that I can think of for now. Till next time, Precious.

Missing you,
Jie-jie

Gone but not gone

Dodo may no long be physically with us. But yet, she continues to stamp her mark on so many aspects of my life.

A picture of her in the orange M&M tee-shirt is the wall-paper on my Blackberry and I see her pretty, smiley face every single time I want to use my phone.

Her pictures are framed and sit in numerous places around the house – in the living room, in the various bedrooms, at her shrine etc. Every morning when I leave for work, I see a picture of her (stretching herself) on the shelf near the door. And I say goodbye Domin, as if things never changed. Every evening when I come back from work, I see her again.

My luggage pin, my office PC log-in pin, my pin for the various websites are all directly or indirectly related to her. I am reminded of her when I travel, when I am in office, when I am surfing the net, when I am at home.

She’ll always be a presence in my life, regardless of time and space.

Dodo’s jie-jie

Dodo’s smell

Dodo has a very nice special smell. I am not quite sure how to describe it but it is definitely not the usual ‘doggy’ smell emanating from dogs who have not been bathed in a while or who are suffering from some skin ailments.

It’s a smell very peculiar to her. It’s not the smell of perfume or soap. It’s like how babies generally have a special 'baby smell', which they somehow lose when they start to grow up. Thankfully, Dodo never grew out of that 'Dodo smell' and it accompanied her from her puppy days to senior days.

I loved to smell her head and her paws. I used to think I was alone in my fondness for smelling her paws. Subsequently, I came across a book whereby an author mentioned that her dad enjoyed doing that too – the smell on their dog’s paw told stories of where their dog had been and his adventures. I don’t quite go as far as that – where I am concerned, no smelling of paws on days when Dodo has been out of the house.

I wish I can smell that special 'Dodo smell' once again, but I know it’s just not going to happen.

Dodo’s jie-jie

Till death do us part

A classic wedding vow goes as follows:
"I, (Name),

Take you, (Name),

To be my (wife/husband);

To have and to hold,

From this day forward,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish,

'Till death do us part."

Sometimes I wonder… how many couples are able to stick to what they had promised each other on the day they married? How many are able to show unwavering love and support for each other in the face of sickness and old age and the many obstacles that is such a part of life’s journey?

I think on the day she came home with me some 17 years ago, I had made the following vow, knowing or unknowingly:
"I, your jie-jie,

Take you, Benjipet Dominica,

To be my most precious little pet and my beloved family member;

To have and to hold,

From this day forward,

For better, for worse,

For richer, for poorer,

In sickness and in health,

To love and to cherish,

'Till death do us part."

I like to think I have kept to the vow.

Domin's jie-jie

Domin’s ears

I have a love-hate relationship with Domin’s ears.

I hated the way one of them (I will call it the troublesome ear) was always clogged up with dirt and grime, despite my weekly cleaning with hydrogen peroxide, despite the putting of ear-drops. I hated the fact that the troublesome ear was always prone to infections. I hated it when it got all red and swollen and she has to take anti-inflammtory medication thereafter.

Yet I so loved her ears! I love the way her ears fly up when she’s running. I love the way her ears twitched. I love the cooling feeling when I hold her ears between my fingers. I love the way I can flip her ears upwards, when she’s awake or sleeping. I love the way I could twist her ears (gently of course). I love the pretty pink colour of the other healthy ear. I so love the ears which have listened to my grumblings and secrets all these years.

In my younger days, I even used to imagine her as Dumbo and her ears as Dumbo’s ears which she can use to fly around (just like Dumbo). I am such a big fan of Domin’s flappy ears!

Domin’s jie-jie

D&D (Medicine time)

No, I am not referring to Dinner & Dance. I am talking about Dodo & Durians (and medicine).

It used to be very easy to feed Dodo medicine in her younger days. I learnt what I could from the books and executed it - press the sides of the jaw with my fingers in order to force the jaw open, push the tablet as far back towards the throat as I could, close the jaw, hold the jaw firmly closed in my hands, tilt her head upwards and blow down the nose.

Then came a stage when medicine-feeding became extremely tough. She would clench her jaws tight and simply refuse to open it. For fear of hurting her, I did not want to press the sides of her jaw too hard (she was after all so small). Sometimes, she would turn away. Other times, she would run and hide.

It was such a challenge to feed her any medicine during this stage. So much coaxing and patience was needed, which I had to admit was lacking in me. Her mummy had to spend a long time persuading her before she succeeded in popping the pill down her throat. Dodo was like a child who resisted her medicine – a sulking little child who tested your patience, your tolerance and your love at medicine time.

Fortunately, there was durian! Dodo is truly a durian dog. She absolutely LOVES durians. We realized the best way to feed her medicine was to put the tablet inside durians. Viola – it will be gone in 2 seconds! She would gobble the lump of durian (with the hidden medicine) from your hands. Medicine time was such a breeze with the help of durians!

Things changed in the last 2 weeks before her departure. Even without the help of any durians, somehow, it became very easy to open her jaws and pop the medicine in her mouth. I was surprised and relieved by the sudden change in her, as I thought it meant that we were back to the early days when feeding medicine was a breeze.

Looking back now, I know she was simply too weak to resist anything then. Poor Dodo.

Dodo’s jie-jie

Domin’s shrine

On one of the shelves in one of the rooms sit Domin’s urn. To the right of the urn is a big wooden photo frame encasing 9 smaller pictures of her. Her harness, leash, water bottle, bowl, shampoo, tidbits also lie on the shelf. I wish there is a way I can shrink her pram and place it on the shelf too, so she’ll always be surrounded by all her belongings.

Oh, there is also an ang-pow I got from my Dad for her during the Chinese New Year that just passed. On the ang-pow there are 5 Chinese characters – their loose translation is “go home and celebrate reunion”. Life and its little ironies!

I call this corner of the house “Domin’s shrine”. I come to this corner when I miss her, when I just feel like seeing or holding her, when there’s something I want to share with her, when I am feeling vexed and I just want to grumble about my unhappiness to her.

I sometimes fiddle with her belongings at the shrine. I shake the packet of unopened doggy French fries, I smell the shampoo (how I miss the smell of a freshly-bathed Domin!), I move her water bottle about, I pet the top of the urn, I hold the urn, I place the harness in my palms and smell it, I pull the retractable lease to make sure its still working…

It has been close to 3 months but I am still fighting a losing battle against the tears. I thought time was supposed to heal all wounds but strangely, the pain is not any lesser now than it was 3 months back.

I am not sure how long the pain will last and when the heart will stop crying. But one thing is for sure – no matter where I may call home subsequently, there will always be a place reserved for Domin’s shrine and all her belongings.

Domin's jie-jie

To dear Dodo 5: missing you

Hi Dodo,

How are you? Jie-jie really miss having you around.

I met up with Yan and Xiang on Saturday (28 March). I am sure you know who they are. They do recall you being hyper-active back then at Flame Tree Park and chasing them and nipping their ankles! Haha…. Those days were so fun and memorable! When all of us were young and carefree and happy…

I have been blogging a lot less in recent weeks. But that does not mean I care less or I love you less. On the contrary, I missed you more than ever. I took such a long time to write this because the tears were just so disruptive =(

Hope Dodo won’t be angry but I sent a sms to Action of Singapore Dog last Sunday night (22 March), asking if they wanted your pram. To-date, there is no reply from them. Maybe the dogs they help are usually bigger and they have no use for the small pink pram which used to be the favourite of one little toy poodle.

While I used to be able to cuddle your warm, furry body, now I can only hold your cold, hard urn. But never mind, I know there will come a day when things will be just as they used to be.

Loving you always,
Jie-jie

I promise

If mei-mei can come back, I promise……

I won’t grumble when I have to clear your pee

I won’t nag at what a hassle it is to bath you

I will bring you to Macdonalds every Sunday that I’m in Singapore

I will bring you to Vivocity every 2 weeks

To feed you breakfast every weekend

Never to say you are smelly

Never to tell you to go away or not to disturb me, no matter how busy I am

Never to joke about putting you to sleep or abandoning you (that was so tasteless of us sigh)

Mei-mei's jie-jie

The best relationship

Without doubt, the best relationship I had was with Domin.

It was a relationship where there were minimal demands made of me, where there was no expectations, where I was totally free to be who I really was all the time.

It was a most amazing relationship, with so many different facets to it!

She was my most understanding growing-up pal, my faithful study mate, my sticky sidekick, my adorable little pet, my verbal punching bag, my best friend, my happiness-index-raiser, my beloved little sister and the solid rock which anchored my heart.

When she came into my life, she completed it, unknown to both of us. When she departed, she took away a part of me. No matter what I do now, nothing feels quite the same as before because I no longer have the relationship closest to my heart.

Domin's jie-jie

To dear Dodo 4: Happy V-Day

Hellos mei-mei,

How have you been? Did you have a good day? Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day and jie-jie wants to wish you Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hope mei-mei has made lots of friends at Rainbow Bridge and will have a special Valentine’s day playing with them.

Mei-mei is my little Valentine and always will be. Hope to meet mei-mei in my dreams soon =)

You look sooo cute in the orange M&M tee-shirt!

Love always,
Jie-jie

25 random things about Dodo

1. She snores

2. She bullies animals smaller than she is. The kitten I rescued from the roadside and my pet ducklings were all her victims

3. She does not like soft toys

4. Her favourite Cesar flavour is the lamb in purple packing.

5. A few times, she sneaked illegally into shopping malls, right under the nose of the security guards. We were her accomplice. *smug look*

6. She absolutely loves durians!

7. She licks “pi pa gao” off my fingers

8. Her farts are smelly!

9. She does not really like to exercise. She will always ask to go back to her pram after a short walk.

10. She prefers indoors to outdoors, cool weather to warm weather

11. Without fail, she will pee after her weekly ear wash

12. She will do a “lion dance” when excited.

13. She can play hide-and-seek. We will hide and she will seek.

14. She prefers to pee at home rather than outside. Guess it’s all about privacy.

15. She does not play “fetch-the-ball”. If you throw the ball, she MAY go and get it but chances are she will run off with it and not drop it at your feet.

16. She will sit, lie down or stay when she wants to, not when she’s told.

17. She has tailored clothes (altered from children’s clothings).

18. She enjoys pork ribs. A substantial part of the pork rib and minced pork from our soup or porridge would usually go to her

19. She scratches the floor (or sofa or cupboard) when she’s had a good meal, when she’s happy, and also when she’s angry or pissed.

20. She enjoys her daily half-tablet dose of Arthrix plus (glucosamine supplement which smells like liver).

21. She loves to sleep on our comforters.

22. When she sleeps, her eyes are sometimes not fully closed and they twitch (we think she could be dreaming)

23. She’s such a good girl when having her eyes cleaned by her Mummy. She would sit absolutely still and tilt her head.

24. She struggles when I try to cut her nails. I gave up after the first couple of years and she would have her nails trimmed only when she went for grooming.

25. She has bad breath in the last couple of years (I subsequently read that it was a sign of renal failure)

Dodo's jie-jie

Dodo...

I pride myself to be rather pragmatic and rational. A month has passed since my friend left and I still feel sad. I do cry sometimes but other times, I try to swallow the tears down.

However, I feel a little crazy, irrational, mad and unreasonable now because all I want to do is shout out... Dodo, Please Come Back...

Min

Dog-friendly pub

Last night, I went to a pub for a hen’s party. It was a most ordinary pub – one of those countless places where you sit around, choose your song and sing karaoke with friends.

Yet I noticed something very special about the pub almost immediately – I saw 2 dogs with a group of people at our next table. The 2 shih-tzus walking around on the seats. I shall not mention the pub’s name as I do not wish to get them into trouble of any sort (knowing how some people are adverse to places which are dog-friendly and determined to eliminate the already-limited places that our canine friends can go to).

When one of them walked close over to our side, I patted him. It was the first time I have touched any dog in almost a month since Dodo left. He was well-groomed and well-behaved. There was not a sound from him the entire time we were there.

This is the first time I have come across a dog-friendly pub in Singapore. To be honest, Singapore is not the most friendly place for our canine friends. There are so many places at which they are not allowed and just too many restrictions.

When I was in Europe, I see people taking their dogs almost everywhere with them. Mind you, the dogs are not small breeds. I have seen bull dog on train, Labrador under the table in pubs etc. In cafes in Australia, I have seen dogs sitting on chairs just beside the owners. It appears that most people in Europe and Australia did not seem to think it was wrong to bring dogs on public transport or that it was 'unhygienic' for dogs to be at food places. Correct me if I am wrong but I don't think they have higher rates of rabies or other dog-related diseases than we do.

I was shocked the first time I saw a man with his bull dog (leashed of course) on the train in England. It was something I could not imagine happening in Singapore. What a big hoo-haa there will be if a person brings his dog on the MRT – even if it was a small dog, even if it was on a leash (or in its own pram), even if it was way more well-behaved than those screaming children making a nuisance of themselves.

Then the shock turned to envy.

In this aspect, I think our society is still very much behind the western civilizations. Just like everywhere else, I am sure there are people in Europe and Australia who do not like dogs. And yet, they are able to show tolerance for those who do. They are able to accept dog-lovers and their canine friends as part of their society.

I so wish we could have this level of tolerance and acceptance in Singapore. So many times, we have been turned away from alfresco dining areas, even though Dodo was in her own pram and did not need to sit on their chairs. So many places we could not bring her, because of all the so-called regulations and “cannots”. While we talk about building a harmonious society in Singapore, shouldn't tolerance and acceptance be the first step?

If only I had discovered this pub a little earlier. I am sure Dodo would have an enjoyed a late night out with her family members – decked out in her prettiest, chilling out and listening to them sing karaoke, in particular Deng Lijun’s songs. Deng was her favourite singer according to her Mummy, who used to play her songs for Dodo before bedtime.

Dodo’s jie-jie

Happy Meal

I used to cook “Happy Meal” (known as ‘kai xin can’ in Mandarin) for my mei-mei.

A typical “Happy Meal” would usually consist of potatoes, carrots, green vegetables and meat (usually chicken or pork). It was a balanced diet consisting of carbohydrates, proteins, vitamins and minerals. I had planned it that way.

I would wash and peel the potatoes and then dice them carefully to ensure they are of equal sizes. I would do the same to the carrots. The vegetables and the meat would also be washed and cut accordingly. I would then arrange all the uncooked ingredients on a plate. Thereafter, I would boil them – potatoes and carrots first, followed by the meat and green vegetables.

I would always watch with pride as she polishes up her bowl.

As the years go by, I grew lazier. In the last year, I don’t recall cooking even 1 single “Happy Meal” for her. I found it a hassle to wash and cut the ingredients and to cook (or rather, boil) them. I just wanted an easy way out, a way that would be the least time-consuming and allow me more time in front of the TV.

For her dinner, we would usually just microwave the chicken or pork and mix them with rice. Gone are the carrots and the green veggies of yesteryears. Gone are the ideals of a balanced diet.

For that, I am sorry, my little mei-mei.

Besides mei-mei, I honestly don’t think there will be someone else who relishes my cooking as much. There is also no one else that I feel like cooking for.

Jie-jie

The Thief

It was many years ago that I had to write a compostion titled 'The Thief'.

I wrote about her. I wrote about my little friend. I wrote about how she stole our hearts. It was my sis who suggested it for me and it scored me high marks.

Years later, we are still writing about her. About how she stole part of our souls when she left. This time round, it was I who suggested it and high marks became the fondest of memories.
Ahh, life and her ironies. My mei mei was indeed a thief throughout her life and even now; as she frolicks on Rainbow Bridge.

Min

Dog eating

I am Chinese and proud of it. I love the Chinese language, Chinese history, Chinese culture, Chinese cuisine. But there is one thing I am unable to relate to and which I vehemently condemn – dog eating.

I updated my Facebook status to reflect my sentiments today. A colleague made a comment to the effect that eating dogs is no different from eating chicken and why is it that nobody ever says anything about eating chicken. That surely is something I cannot agree with.

I have kept chicks and ducklings as pets more than once during my childhood days. I do love them. I fed them, cleared up their soiled newspapers and enjoyed playing with them. When it was time to say goodbye, my heart always felt very heavy and I have also cried over them.

And yet, they are not quite in the same league as dogs. Chicks and ducklings, however cute they are, just can’t be compared with dogs in the same breath. Dogs, are everything chicks and ducklings can ever be, and so much more. I think anyone who has ever loved a dog and been loved by one would understand exactly what I mean.

I have listed down 5 reasons as to why I think dogs are in a league of their own and eating them is really not quite the same as eating chicken:

1) You do not take chickens for walks (as aptly said by a colleague)

2) You do not sleep with chickens (pardon the pun)

3) You and/or your children do not grow up with chicken

4) No one ever says “Chicken are man’s best friends” (pardon the pun, again)

5) There is an international best-seller called “Marley & me” and Marley is dog (a huge Labrador to be exact). To the best of my knowledge and understanding, there is no “Chickee & me”.

Domin's jie-jie

For one more day

I so wish for one more day with Domin.

I know exactly what we will do during that one special day.

I will wake up, say "morning Dodo" to her and kiss her little black nose. She will, as usual, collect kisses from all of us, all the time ‘nua-ing’ in her bed.

Then all of us will take turns to bath so we can go to her favourite place – Vivocity! While waiting for us to get ready, she will get all excited and start barking. Gosh… what a pain to her ears… all these loud and sharp yelps. She will scratch the doors if they are locked and will run from room to room to check on our progress - an impatient little one she is.

We will be in our family “M&M” tee-shirts. Mine in blue, Witch in yellow, Nana in red, Alice in red, Connie in purple, her mummy in orange, hers in orange too (exactly the same as her Mummy).

At Vicocity, we will push her around in her pram. She will sit ever so prettily inside her pram. Her eyes will be big, sparkly and happy. We will go to Toastbox at the basement and have our tea while she has her pork floss bread.

We will walk around some more. All this time, she will be looking out of the pram, always curious about what is going on. At the top floor of Vivocity (which is open air), we will let her out of the pram and all of us will have a run around. She will be young and absolutely healthy again – such a good sprinter and none of us can outrun her!

We will have her favourite Carls Junior for dinner. As usual, she will have 1 beef patty with mushroom and cheese. She’s certainly a big fan of Carls Junior Portobello burger!

When we reach home, her mummy will clean her paws and her body. All children need to have a wash after an entire day out and playing. After she has her last pee of the day, she will walk to her bed and plonk down – tired but oh, so happy and contented.

She will close her eyes and start to doze off. I think we can almost detect a smile.

We will stay by her bedside until the end of the day. Until the end of this extraordinary day.

Just for one more day…

Domin's jie-jie

Happy New Year to You

Dodo,

How are you? Min Min used to shout out this very statement everytime I came back home and I still do that now. I think you can hear me right?

Today is the fifth day of Chinese New Year. All of us went onboard a cruise to celebrate the new year and I hope you enjoyed the Yu Sheng, the trip down Phuket and all the good food available. I know you are right beside us as we count down to the brand new year (at least in the context of the lunar calendar), a year which we will all try to be stronger and braver.

To be honest, Min min can remember how you look like vividly...thanks to the hundreds of pictures you have taken over the years; but I am not sure how long I can remember your bark or how your fur felt beneath my hands. I know this happens due to the passing of time but I am afraid that one day I might forget and you must forgive me when that day comes.


This year will not be easy but I know I can always talk to you...

Happy New Year!

Missing you,

Min

To dear Dodo 3: CNY

Dear mei-mei,

How have you been? Jie-jie hopes you are happy where you are.

Does mei-mei know that Chinese New Year is just 2 days away? Tomorrow will be “chu xi” already. This year is the year of the Ox, the year Nana is born in. At home, we have hung up some new year decorations and have also bought all our new year goodies. Don’t worry, we will surely leave some goodies for you, greedy.

Your mummy bought a Bakerzin strawberry cake for you when she went to Jurong Point yesterday. It is in the fridge right now, and the box has your name “Domin” written on it. I think she is a bit worried that the witch or papa might eat it. You will get the cake tonight or tomorrow morning. Lucky girl! :)

Jie-jie wishes mei-mei happiness and good health in the ox year. I will ensure you get your ang pows as always!

Loving and missing you,
Jie-jie

List of places Dodo has been to

1. Vivocity – her favourite place!
2. Bukit Batok Macdonald’s and CC
3. West Mall Shopping Centre
4. West Coast Park
5. East Coast Park
6. Bishan Park
7. Orchard
8. Chinatown
9. Sentosa
10. Holland Village
11. Dempsey Road
12. Robertson Quay
13. Clarke Quay
14. NUS – twice for her family members' graduation
15. Eastpoint Mall
16. Pasir Ris Farmway
17. Railway Mall
18. Chalets

Replacement?

Since Domin left about 2 weeks ago, I have had quite a few people asking me if I will get another dog.

Even as far back as 3 to 4 years ago, there was a friend who asked me to get a new puppy, although Domin was still well and healthy (but already senior) then. The plan was that Domin can teach the puppy her tricks so I won’t be too sad when she eventually goes one day. I replied him more than once that Domin would be so upset if we did that – she’s just not the sort who is pally with other dogs.

Sometimes, I wonder… are dogs like handbags? Handphones? Laptops? Clothes? Cars? That you can just replace with a new one when they are worn out, depleted, lost or gone?

We know of a married childless couple in their 50s who has kept 2 dogs for 20 over years. Recently one of their dogs passed away and the wife was devastated and has been eating and sleeping extremely poorly. Surely this pain is comparable to the pain of losing one’s child?

There is no married childless couple in my family. Nonetheless, Domin was her Mummy’s little girl, my little sister and the baby of the family.

I don’t think any person in a right mind will ask someone whose child has just passed on if he/she will have another child. I do wish this logic and sensitivity can be extended to dog owners who have just lost their beloved canine companions, their four-legged member of the family.

I don’t know if and when there will be a new addition to the family. I think fate might have her own ideas.

Domin's jie-jie

24 Jan 1017

This week, I have been returning from work to a home without Domin.

It sure feels very different. Something is definitely missing and not quite right. The home is simply incomplete.

There is no one who looks at me with big round eyes when I step into the house. There is no one I can talk to and play with before I take my shower, after dinner, in-between commercial breaks and anytime I feel bored. There is no one I can cuddle and hug and kiss. There is also no one I can talk to about my frustrations and unhappiness.

I have not been in the best of moods this week. I am sad and grouchy and tearful.

It still hurts when I look at her pictures, when I think about her and the times we have spent together, when I know that we will not be able to spend any more moments together. I still cry at times – at home or on the bus to and from work, when I look at her pictures and think of what I could have done differently perhaps.

3 nights ago, a very good friend told me that she does not think that the pain of losing someone we love will ever go away. But she also believes that time will heal the wounds.

Domin's jie-jie

When I travel

When I travel, I will always call home. Apart from speaking to my mum, I will always speak to Domin.

According to my mum, when she holds the phone against Domin’s ears, Domin’s ears will prick, eyes will widen and she will be quietly listening away. Of course, I am not able to see her reaction. However, I have no doubts that Domin knows that it is jie-jie at the other end of the line, jie-jie who is calling from thousands of miles away to talk to her and ask her how her day has been.

When I travel, I am always on the lookout for interesting things to buy for Domin.

In Melbourne, I bought her kangaroo jerky and lots of other snacks made from kangeroo meat. In Hong Kong, I bought her snacks and a red stripped pullover. In Taipei, I bought her a very pretty oriental-styled dark blue coat with white fur trimmings. In Bangkok, I bought her a white-and-beige jumper which she always wears to sleep. Anything that I think is suitable for Domin, I will always want to get it for her.

If only things did not have to change and can remain as they always have been.

Domin's jie-jie

12 reasons why dogs make good companions

1. They are always sweet, 24/7

2. They are 100% loyal

3. You will always win in arguments

4. You will never piss them off, no matter what you do or don’t do

5. You do not need to kiss and make up or say sorry, even if you are in the wrong

6. They will not find you fat or ugly or old

7. They do not say “whatever” or “it’s just me”

8. They will not hesitate to save you from dangers of whatever sort – you and everything about you will always come first

9. They will not complain about the food you cook

10. They will walk with you, every step of the way, if only you allow them to

11. You will always have their full attention – distractions such as soccer or games or boobs just do not work

12. They will break your heart only once – when they leave for Rainbow Bridge

18 Jan 1857

This week has been very different.

I took leave to stay at home – the first time in my six years of working life. My usual practice was to take leave only when I was going on holidays.

I spent the entire week at home and writing – thinking and writing about my life with Domin. I wrote whenever I can, from the time I woke up in the morning till the end of the day. I just wanted to put as much memories as I possibly can into writing.

I wrote about the day I met her, wrote about her days as a puppy and a young adult, wrote about her changes as she entered seniorhood, wrote about our times together, wrote about the day we bade farewell, wrote about my grief at losing her…

There are so much beautiful memories she has left for us all. We would sit around the table and look at all her pretty pictures and videos. We would think about her, talk about her and talk to her, as if things never changed. And we would alternate between laughing and crying.

Tomorrow I will be back to work. But the writing and the memories will continue. That’s my promise to you, Domin.

Domin’s jie-jie

09-01-2009

9 January 2009, Friday – a day forever etched on my memory, the day I lost my best little friend.

The day started off like all other days. I got out of bed, showered and got dressed for work. In office, I checked my emails, picked up calls, did my report, attended meetings. Just before lunchtime, I got a call from my aunts, saying that they have decided to discharge Dodo. I was all for it as I knew Dodo did not like to be on her own at the hospital.

During lunchtime, I made my way to Daiso at Plaza Singapura. I bought some pets’ absorbent sheets for Dodo and had lunch there. I was tempted to take half a day off and be home earlier to keep her company in the afternoon. However, as I had already planned to take the whole of the following week off to keep her company and bring her to all her favourite places, I needed some time to hand over my work to my colleagues. In the end, I decided against the half day off on Friday afternoon. It turned out to be one great regret.

I went back to office after lunch and cleared up some work. I also proceeded to brief my colleagues on what they needed to cover for me the following week while I will be away. At around 4+ pm, my aunt called. She said in between sobs that Dodo was dying. My heart dropped and I was shocked. This was too sudden – something I did not expect at all. I quickly called my sister to tell her the bad news.

I left office and rushed to the taxi stand. I was already crying. There were 2 cabs waiting but as my sister was not there yet, I did not get into the cabs. A few passengers came along and they got into the cabs. When my sister finally arrived at the taxi stand, there were no empty cabs! I panicked and cried harder as I was so scared we would miss seeing Dodo for the last time. We called for a cab.

After a very long few minutes, a random cab came along and we just hopped in. We just could not afford to wait even a second longer. I told the driver that we were in a hurry and I think he did try his best to drive as fast as possible. In the cab, I called home. I wanted to speak to my Dodo. I told Dodo I was on the way home, I told her to wait for her jie-jie.

At home, Dodo’s eyes were rolling backwards and she seemed to have difficulties breathing. She looked so different from the Dodo as I know her. It was clear she was in a lot of discomfort and perhaps pain. I was heart-broken and all of us were crying. We were hesitant on whether to bring her back to the vet again where she will be subject to all the intensive and invasive treatments (which we knows she absolutely hates) or to let her remain at home.

My sis dialled for a cab. Before the cab came, Dodo had left. She had made her decision and she was not going to go back to the vet. It was 1735hrs. We bade farewell and kissed her. All these while, she was lying in her mummy’s arms, as she always does. She was loved by all of us.

Dodo did wait for her jie-jie. I think she knew how much it meant to both of us. She was my little sister and forever my little sweetheart. Thank you, precious.

I started the day, thinking it was like any other day. I ended the day, knowing it was like no other day. My best friend was no longer with me and life would never be the same again.

Dodo's jie-jie

Domin's bark

Domin loved to bark since the first day I know her. She would bark when we scold her, bark at neighbours as they walk by, bark at strangers who’s at our door, bark when she wants food, bark when she’s being locked out, bark when she’s unhappy, bark when she’s being blown-dry. The list could go on.

She barked so much that I really found her barking to be a nuisance. Sometimes we would hit her with bundled up newspapers to get her to stop her incessant barking. At one time, I was reading on the various ways to stop dogs from barking. It appears that there is this extreme operation that can be done on the vocal cords of a very noisy dog so that the dog will not able to make noise when it barks in the future…hmmm. Of course, we never got down to that and Domin continued her barking spree.

In her seniorhood days, she was still barking away, though to a much lesser extent. I think I must have told her countless times over the years not to bark at neighbours as that was a rude thing to do. Alas, it was to no avail – all my words have fallen on deaf ears.

I think her barking stopped in the past year or so. I can’t quite seem to recall her barking much. Think she could be too tired out from all the coughing and vomitting. Poor girl.

I never thought I would miss Domin's bark but I do. The house is almost too quiet.

Domin's jie-jie

18 Jan 0104, Sunday

I am usually busy on Sundays.

If we are not too lazy when we wake up, my mum, my sister (witch) and myself would bring Domin to the Macdonald’s at Bukit Batok Community Centre. We would order a hamburger for her – plain of course, no salt and pepper to be added on top of what is already in the beef patty. We knew it was unhealthy but well, we thought she was already quite senior and heck, might as well let her enjoy while she can! Sometimes, we would also order french fries – unsalted too, of course. She simply loved fast food, just like a little child.

She would bark loudly while we separate the patty from the bread. As we tear the patty into small pieces for her and waited for them to cool, she would yelp continuously until she finally got to eat the patty. Patience was definitely not one of her virtues and she hated having to wait for her food. She would finish the patty but turn her nose up at the bread. A few times, we tried to mix the patty with the bread but she was able to pick out the patty from the bread! Even if she had accidentally taken some bread into her mouth, she would spit it out once she realizes she has been ‘cheated’.

After eating her hamburger and drinking some water (provided by Macdonald’s in their small white cup), she would pee on the grass patch just in front of Macdonald’s. That was her modus operandi.

We would then take a lift to the 4th floor of the Community Centre. We would bring her to run or walk along the corridor back and forth a few times. Thereafter we would just sit at the bench and let her roam around on her own. Sometimes, we would go to the playground that was just beside the lift lobby. After a while, she would always prefer to go back to her pram – she was one lazy girl.

Thereafter we would proceed home. On the way home, I would usually stop by NTUC / “Shop & Save” to buy some chicken meat and/or pork for her. In recent months, I bought more pork than chicken. Chicken meat, according to my mum (I am not sure how true it is), is bad for cough and Domin has been coughing for quite a while.

Once home, I would rest for a short while then proceed to wash her ears. She hated having her ears washed. She would shriek or whine or whimper while I was cleaning out the dirt in her smelly ears. Her left ear is particularly prone to infection and always dirty and swollen while the right ear is always pink and healthy. After the ear wash, without fail, she will walk over to pee on the newspapers (yes, pee again).

Then it would be bath time. I would always wet her neck first. I have read from books many years ago that the neck should always be wet first – if the body was wet first, the lice/mites/fleas would move from the wet body to the dry neck and head area. Throughout the years, I have always followed this advice though I am sure Domin is free of all these parasites. After lathering her, I would leave the lather on for a few minutes. I have been using this particular brand of ‘orange mango’ shampoo for a while and I love the smell. Thereafter, I would rinse her twice. Since puppy days, she likes to snuggle against my legs during bath time. This and her shaking ensure that I could never be dry after bathing her. After the final rinse, my job was finally done.

The witch would then take over – she was responsible for drying Domin. Whilst she towels and then blow-dry Domin, the witch would always grumble and complain, in typical witch fashion.

As I take my shower, I can always hear the droning sound of the hair-dryer punctuated by Domin’s sharp barks…

This has always been the way I spend my Sundays.

Domin’s jie-jie

A love-hate relationship

When I was 10, Dodo was 1. When she was 10, I was 19.

Those were the growing up years for both of us and I believe teenage angst played a huge part in our relationship then. I wasn’t even particularly fond of her! She would try to nip at my ankles while I would try to hit her with newspapers. No one won. I was nipped while she was hit. But all in all, she was still a friend then.

Growing up was not easy but she made it better as a friend who was always there for a fight which she would not remember in 10 minutes time. Well, those were the days. I grew up and she grew old. Things mellowed between us but we still played rough. Yes, I would twist her ears and yes, I would pull her tail as well. No one did that to her at home and I was the special one. THE sparring partner when she needed to feel she belonged to the wild. It was indeed an incredible journey and the most out of the world love-hate relationship.

Thank you, my friend.

Min Min

17 Jan 1509

My 妹妹 is a good girl.

Sometimes we could be busy with our own things at home and none of us would pay much attention to her.

She would then be left on her own. She could be on the sofa, under the table, under the ironing board, on her own bed, in the living room or in any of the bedrooms. She could be stretching away, dozing, licking her paws or just looking plain bored. Sometimes she would walk around to each bedroom to see exactly what we are busy with.

But she will not disturb us. She will always wait quietly and patiently. She will not bark or insist that we play with her or bring her out. She knows that we will go look for her when we finish what we are doing.

姐姐

Swimming poodle

I read a lot of books on dogs during my teens. I recall the books telling me that poodles are good swimmers and that their fur are usually clipped in such a way in order to protect their heart and vital organs in the cold water.

Domin swam for the first time in her life only after the age of 10. I do think animals are amazing. They are able to do so many things on instinct, without being taught at all.

She can swim but I don’t think she particularly enjoys it. When we brought her swimming in the sea, she would never dare to swim away from us. She would always want to be close to us and sometimes would try to cling onto us. When we brought her swimming in a pool, she would always want to get out of the pool and onto dry ground where we are.

Somehow, I feel she looks a little uncertain and scared when she’s in the water. She’s always relieved whenever we hold onto her or get her out of the water. Maybe she's too small, maybe she started a little too late or maybe it’s too tiring for her aging bones.

I would always laugh at this one particular sight whenever we bring her swimming - her legs would still be moving, as if she’s still in the water paddling away, even though we are already holding her out of the water.

Domin's jie-jie

Little food snatcher

I recall Dodo used to be a highly efficient food snatcher.

If we happened to drop any food on the floor, she would run over in an unbelievably short time and would make off with the food in her mouth. Her reflexes were extremely fast.

At our old place, she would then hide under the king-sized bed where it was difficult to reach her unless we got down on all fours and crawled under the bed. The big bed was her safe haven, and she would be under it enjoying her spoils. Under the big bed on all fours, we were slow and clumsy while she was fast and agile. Most times, she avoided capture.

Even in the few times we ventured under the bed and managed to catch hold of her, it was a challenge trying to remove anything from her jaws. She would growl, bare her teeth and would bite tightly onto the food and simply refuse to let go. Our success rate was dismally low. In the end, I think it got so bad that we just gave up totally.

We were thankful that she was a small dog and hence unable to reach any food on the table without standing on the chairs. As long as we were mindful to move away the chairs whenever there was food on the table, things were ok. I suspected perhaps she was constantly hungry back then due to her high metabolic rate – she was hyper-active till she entered seniorhood.

At our current place, I was relieved we did not have a king-sized bed where she could hide under and was safe from the law and punishment. Somehow, maybe age caught up with her. It became easier to remove food from her jaws. She still resisted but was not as defensive as she used to be. Her reflexes were also slower and she was unable to run as fast. For once, we were able to outrun and corner her.

In recent years, we have not seen the little food snatcher at all. In her place is a wise canine elder who will guide us to the fridge whenever she wants food. A smart girl – she knows that all her favourite snacks are in the fridge and all she has to do is ask (or rather, bark) and wag her little tail.

Dodo's jie-jie

17 Jan 1053

Exactly a week ago today, we brought Domin to Pasir Ris to be cremated. I will always remember that day – Saturday, 10 January 2009. We had opted for solo cremation as we know she does not enjoy the company of other dogs. She always preferred humans to dogs.

She had passed away a day earlier. But we wanted to let her rest one final night in her beloved bed. Her previous 2 nights were spent in the hospital and we knew she probably did not sleep much and must have missed her bed and bolster sorely. So she spent Friday night in her bed hugging her bolster – her bed in her Mummy’s room in the usual spot as it always has been. The only difference was the air-con blowing at her cold body. Her eyes were closed and we wanted so much to think that she was just tired out from all the blood testing, medications and injections she’s had at the hospital and was having a well-deserved rest.

That Saturday morning, we drove her to Pasir Ris. Her Mummy carried her in her bed, with a towel covering her. We saw her go into the furnace, resting peacefully on her mattress and hugging her bolster. Then the furnace door closed. It must be one of the most painful goodbyes ever. It hurts so much to even think about it now.

About 3 hours later, we went back to collect her. She went home with us in an oriental-looking blue-and-white urn. On the urn is a picture of her with a bouquet of red roses, not quite as pretty as she is though.

Domin's jie-jie

16 Jan 1735

There was one period when Dodo loved to be at the door.

She would wait at the door – either standing, sitting or lying down. She could be there for a long time, looking out at the corridor. We knew she was waiting to go out. She loved being out of the house, even if it was just a quick run along the corridor. She would run from one end of the corridor to the other, ears flapping and tail wagging.

Sometimes, we would come home and there she would be, right at the door waiting. She would wag her tail as she sees us walking out of the lift lobby and towards the house. It feels so nice to have someone waiting for us to come home, someone happy to see us reach home.

I miss my little friend.

Dodo's jie-jie

16 Jan 1537

I don’t know what to do with Dodo’s pram.

The pram was one of her favourite belongings, probably only second to her bed. It is still in the living room, as it always has been. The pram is a painful reminder of our loss. And yet, I can’t really bear to remove it. It was after one of her most beloved items and what would she think if she knows I have disposed of it? And even if I want to dispose of it, what is the best option? Give it to someone? Give it to an animal shelter? Throw it away? Or what?

All her grooming items are still sitting in the kitchen cupboard. I don’t quite have the courage to pack away her ear wash, eye wash, brush, scissors etc. To pack away and remove all these would be to acknowledge that she’s really gone, not coming back and never ever going to need all these again, wouldn’t it?

Her clothes are still in the yellow cupboard in the living room, stacked neatly in the transparent box. I am quite tempted to keep them all. After all, they are so pretty and I can remember her as she looks in each one of them.

Dodo's jie-jie

Calendar

Since the second half of last year, I have had the habit of writing on my calendar. Below are the days involving Domin:

17 July 2008 – Domin’s operation on lump (paw)

22 July 2008 – went back to vet to remove bandage

1 August 2008 – went to remove stitches

30 August 2008 – Vivocity to celebrate Domin’s birthday
[I bought her a very pretty kimono dress that day. She looked so adorable in it and we definitely attracted a lot of attention. We had Carls Junior for dinner as that was Dodo’s favourite. Hao and Javen joined us too.]

5 September 2008 – Domin’s birthday
[We did not bring her anywhere]

20 September 2008 – Vivocity to celebrate Shan’s birthday

4 October 2008 – Vivocity to celebrate my birthday
[We had dinner at Carnivore, which no one really enjoys. Dodo waited for us outside.]

22 November 2008 – Dodo cut hair
[It is usually Carol and Shana who bring Dodo for her haircut. This was probably the only time I went along.]

24 November 2008 – Brought Dodo to vet
[I rushed down from work to meet Carol and Shan at James Tan veterinary. They had called to tell me that there was blood and liver-like substances in Domin's poo.]

7 December 2008 – Vivocity to celebrate Mr Tan’s birthday
[We had No Signboard for dinner. Dodo waited for us outside.]

25 December 2008 – Vivocity to celebrate Christmas
[We had No Signboard for dinner again. Dodo waited for us outside.]

26 December 2008 – Brought Dodo to vet
[This is the first time we brought her to the Mount Pleasant vet at Sunset Way. We have been bringing her to see James Tan all along before this.]

7 January 2009 – Dodo admitted to hospital
[Ah min and me rushed down after work. I cried when I saw Dodo. She was facing the inside of the cage and from the way she was standing, she looked so sad. My poor Dodo.]

8 January 2009 – 2nd visit at vet (Dodo angry when we left)
[She was really upset and angry when we left as visiting hours were over. When Carol placed her back into the cage, she breathed very heavily. I really hope she did not think that we had abandoned her.]

9 January 2009 – Dodo gone
[Dodo discharged from hospital. She was happy to be home finally.]

10 January 2009 – Domin’s cremation at Pasir Ris

11 January 2009 – Witch started blog on Dodo

12 January 2009 – Went Jurong East to develop Dodo’s pictures (500+ in all)
[Carol and me went together. We also bought 5 albums. When we reached home, we started packing the photos and sorting them into the various albums. Realised we only needed 3 albums.]

13 January 2009 – Went Jurong East buy Dodo’s photo frame and develop handphone pictures

We would always choose to go to Vivocity as it was a shopping centre where Dodo was allowed. She absolutely loved Vivo (as we usually call it)! The place has so much of her memories. We would do our shopping while her mummy would push her around. Before we go for our dinner, we would buy a burger for her and ensure she’s well fed and full. A hungry Dodo is a noisy Dodo!

We are regulars at the No signboard seafood outlet there. While we have our dinner, she would wait for us patiently outside the restaurant in her pram. We would always request for a table by the glass window so we can keep a lookout on her. The manager, Jack, will always help us to arrange for the table we want. He knows Dodo too!

A pity I can no longer pen any more Vivo trip with Dodo on my calendar.

Dodo's jie-jie

Operations & GA

Dodo had undergone quite a few operations in her lifetime.

The first operation took place many years back. She was probably only around 2 years old. She had hurt my younger sister (who was in primary school then) while at play and my parents were furious. I have to admit she was easily excitable and was not the most gentle of dogs. They wanted to send her away. I cried and cried. This was my precious little dog, my faithful study mate and they want to send her away? What’s going to happen to her? In the end, I sort of won but my parents insisted I had to sterilize her. We were advised that sterilization would make her less excitable and more docile.

So we brought her to the vet for the sterilization operation. We scheduled her operation in the morning as we wanted to bring her back the same evening. That was a mistake. In the evening, when we went to fetch her, she was probably still under the effects of general anaesthesia (GA). We should have let her rest one more night and only brought her back the next morning but we did not know then.

I suspected the nurses roused her from her sleep roughly. I could hear her screaming from inside before I even saw her. She was in a lot of pain and she got aggressive. It was very difficult to carry her as she would try to snap. For a while, we were not able to hold her and she laid on the floor and screamed away. Finally, after some efforts, we managed to somehow bundle her into the car and bring her home.

In the car, she was screaming throughout the way home. When we reached the carpark, her cries were so loud that it actually attracted someone to come over and see what was happening. At home, she hid under a chair and refused to come out. I recalled clearly that her wound looked raw and was still bleeding that night. I felt very sorry to have put her through the pain and misery but that was the agreement with my parents – if I wanted to keep her, we had to sterilize her.

That was her first operation. Her last operation was in July last year – to remove a big lump on her paw. This was the second time she had to remove a lump on her paw.

On 17 July 2008, we brought her to the vet for the operation. She was already 15+ years old and I was worried she would not wake up from the GA. Older dogs are always at much higher risk. Much to our relief, she did. The vet gave us a plastic cone to put around her neck to prevent her from biting off the bandage.

On 22 July, we went back to the clinic to have the bandage removed. Thereafter, my aunt religiously cleaned and cared for her wound everyday. The cone was still around her head to stop her from getting at the stitches (which are now exposed as the bandage had been removed). Somehow, she managed to bite off a couple of stitches. On 1 August, we went back to the vet again to have all the stitches removed. Her wound had recovered beautifully in quite a short time. Well done for a senior dog!

In between the first operation and the last operation, there were other operations. She was always prone to lumps and growths on her body. Once she had this growth on the forehead which grew bigger and bigger. When it started to bleed from her scratching, we went to have it removed. She looked so much prettier after that. A few years ago, her paw had a lump and we had that removed too. She had also undergone a few teeth cleaning / scaling sessions where she needs to be put under GA.

Throughout the years, whenever she was undergoing any operations, I was always concerned that she might end up sleeping forever, as that was a real risk. I would always have to sign an agreement before the vet puts her under GA, saying I would not hold them responsible etc.

Every single time, she never disappoints us – she would wake up from the effects of the GA and recover well and quick. Such a brave and strong girl.

Dodo's jie-jie